Pop star Boy George has been admitted to hospital after the latest attempt to throw his arms around the world at Christmas time ended in failure.
The 57-year-old singer, whose real name is George O’Dowd, is currently receiving treatment for ruptured shoulder ligaments, insists he was merely following his own advice – as laid out on the 1985 Band Aid hit Do They Know it’s Christmas.
Despite the impracticality of its lyrics, the 32-year-old Christmas hit is credited with raising famine awareness and transgender issues across the African subcontinent.
Medic, Simon Williams, said, “George’s arm span is around the one metre seventy-centimetre mark, which is roughly the equivalent of a juvenile male albatross in its second year.
“Given that the circumference of planet Earth is approximately forty-thousand kilometres, according to our best estimates, this was always going to be a big ask, even for someone with his impeccable back catalogue.
“With the NHS facing its annual winter crisis, I would encourage any individual embarking on a similar course of action to factor in some basic mathematics and seek medical advice before doing so.”
Williams added, “Mr O’ Dowd is likely to remain in plaster for several weeks and require an intensive course of physiotherapy before he can even consider touring again.
“Well tonight thank God it’s him insteaaaaaad of youuuuuuuuu..”