Ooh, look! Here is a photo of a teenage Meghan Markle in front of Buckingham Palace and she has got her legs out and everything, the Daily Mail has insisted today.
The Daily Mail has evidently opted not to mention Theresa May agreeing to pay around £50bn as a divorce settlement to the EU and instead has chosen today to fill their entire front page with a photo of an American teenage girl in front of Buckingham Palace.
The senior editor in charge of distracting the masses from the clusterfuck of Brexit, Simon Williams, explained, “We don’t know if everyone knows this, but Prince Harry is going to marry a girl next year.
“An American girl, and a very attractive American girl, if we may say so.
“Which we will, repeatedly, to prove we are not in any way concerned about the colour of her skin.”
He went on, “Our readers will naturally be keen to see exactly what she looked like as a teenager –and may I say ‘phwoar!’ – so here it is. Did we mention she was fifteen in the photo? Look at her all grown up.
“If a photo of her as a teenager in a little black dress isn’t the most important thing to put on the front page, I don’t know what is.”
Regular readers of the tabloid have praised the decision, noting with thinly veiled delight that due to the fact the photo was taken in bright sunlight, Prince Harry’s fiancée looks almost like the kind of good, wholesome white person a Royal should be marrying.