Prince Philip is delighted to be welcoming another commoner into the family.
The Tywin Lannister of the royal family responded to the news of Prince Harry’s engagement with a pained smile, followed by a long, hard stare at a portrait of King George IV.
“We told him, and he kind of sighed and asked everyone to leave the room” claimed Royal Aide, Simon Williams.
“I’m not sure but I think I heard him screaming into a pillow.”
“I think he’s happy for Harry, but in the same way I’m happy that my son has gone to university to study Sports Science; you’re glad they’re happy, but the thing that’s made them happy isn’t really good enough.”
“We’ve reminded him that Meghan Markle is a successful actress, but the fact she’s done a day’s work in her life basically puts her in line with a street-sweeper as far as Phil is concerned.”
“He asked for MI6 on the phone and asked them to “work on a second draft, just in case”, although I’m not really sure what that meant.”
Prince Philip is said to be preparing for the wedding by spending some time in a cordoned-off section of Primark, buying lottery tickets and learning about football.