By marrying an American my kids can become President, confirms Harry

author avatar by 7 years ago

By marrying an American, Prince Harry has ensured his children will be both in line to the throne and eligible to stand for President, so beat that.

Confirming the move as part of a long-term plan to bring the colonies ‘back into the fold’ set in motion by George III in 1776, Buckingham Palace announced that Meghan Markle’s American citizenship meant her children would be eligible to stand for the highest office in the USA, even if they weren’t born in the country – just like Ted Cruz.

“We tried this before with Edward the Eighth and Wallis Simpson, but that ran up against the whole Hitler-supporting thing and he had to go,” a royal spokesman told us.

“But this time we’re really confident that Prince or Princess whoever will have a clear run at the presidency in about 2050 and then it’s just a short hop to them taking the throne as well and adopting the title of King-President.

“Yeah, I know there’s something in the Constitution about the President not being allowed to hold any foreign noble titles, but once they’ve got the top job they’ll be able to change that to something a bit more sensible.”

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Palace officials refused to confirm rumours that Harry had taken to calling his brother to remind him that his future children will have greater job opportunities than their cousins.

Though one palace source told us, “Apparently William just reminded him it’ll be a cold day in hell before the Americans elected a ginger president.”

In celebration of the news, hats with the slogan “Make America Great Britain Again” have been selling like hot cakes.

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