In order to address any perceived untruths spread across their platforms, social media companies will take to delivering the news to Michael Gove on the side of a bus.
Each morning, the bus will be updated with the latest news and views before being driven across London so that Michael Gove can look at it while he eats his cornflakes.
Facebook will take the first shift, and have promised tomorrow morning’s bus will deliver a dose of cold, hard truth to the Environment Secretary.
A spokesperson for the social media platform told us, “We understand that Michael distrusts social media, but we also know how much he loves the integrity of a good old-fashioned bus, so we’re sure he’ll be delighted with what we’ve got lined up for him tomorrow.
“Sure, he might object to the fact it explains that Brexit is an unmitigated disaster, or the assertion that he is a snivelly grasping shit, but a the end of the day it will be written on a bus, and everyone knows you can take that to the bank.”
The voting public has welcomed the move, insisting that bus-based news is something that even Michael Gove will find hard to criticise.
Voter Simon Williams told us, “It’s not like someone can just slap whatever they like on the side of a bus and expect everyone to believe it – buses take thought and research. A bus is not a throwaway Facebook post that takes seconds.
“This is transportation based messaging we’re talking about here, which obviously Michael Gove himself will defend until his dying day.”