PM to boost government’s credibility by replacing Boris Johnson with newly-available Robert Mugabe

author avatar by 7 years ago

It is understood that beleaguered Prime Minister Theresa May is considering replacing Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson with Robert Mugabe in an effort to boost the flagging credibility of her Government.

The hugely unpopular leader is, for the moment, clinging to power despite what appears to be the will of the people, but could be looking for a new job imminently.

Much like Robert Mugabe.

“The PM desperately needs to improve the credibility of her Government,” said a Tory insider.

“Yes, Robert Mugabe is a brutal dictator who massacred his own people and destroyed his country’s economy.

“But he’s still far more respected on the world stage than Boris Johnson, and he’s now available.”

Tory supporters are certainly open to the idea, believing the time has come for Boris to be moved aside.

“Well, as someone who was dropped on his head a lot as a child, I think Boris Johnson is doing a good job as Foreign Secretary,” said Tory supporter and unemployed village idiot Simon Williams.

“But I don’t know, this Mugabe chap brutally repressed his people under the guise of nationalism, that’s something I can always get behind.

“I’m not really sure, so I’ll probably wait for the Daily Mail to tell me what to think like I normally do.”

It is thought that if the Prime Minister decides against appointing Robert Mugabe as Foreign Secretary, she may still replace Boris with either a potted plant, a small piece of excrement or some air.

Any of which would vastly improve the credibility of the current government.