Charles Manson was actually a pretty nice guy, insists Morrissey

author avatar by 6 years ago

Morrissey has today leapt to the defence of a rather pleasant chap who had the misfortune to have been convicted of orchestrating murder.

The ‘Manson Family’ cult leader, who instructed his followers to commit multiple murders, passed away this morning prompting high fives and apathetic shrugs from everyone on Earth, apart from that guy who used to sing in The Smiths.

“I am totally against murder,” stressed Morrissey in an interview this morning, “but Charles was actually a really sweet guy who on any other day wouldn’t hurt a fly.

“Despite the testimony under oath of those involved, I choose to believe that Mr Manson was actually a victim of false accusations. Seems like everyone is being accused of murder nowadays – the world has gone crazy.”

He added, “The swastika tattoo on his forehead? I think that was intended to be a peace symbol, but I heard he was high when he did it, leading to the unfortunate result.

NewsThump best selling notebooks

“You know who the real murderers are? Meat-eaters. Now that is indefensible.”