Alderaan ‘truther’ insists planetary destruction was work of the Rebel Alliance

author avatar by 6 years ago

Alderaan was destroyed by the Rebel Alliance to turn people against the Empire, truther Sy-Mon Snootles has claimed in a controversial new book.

Alderaan, which was allegedly destroyed by Imperial Agents who had gained access to devastating firepower, is regarded by many as the trigger for a six-year civil war which left millions dead and crippled the galactic economy, paving the way for the First Order.

However, Sy-Mon claims to be able to demonstrate that the destruction of Alderaan was a black ops false flag operation by the Alliance designed to increase public sympathy for their war.

“Laser beams can’t destroy continental plates!” he told us.

“Only someone with long-term, intimate access to the planetary infrastructure could have built up the stockpiles of devastating munitions required to carry out a controlled demolition of an entire planet.

“And who is the only person with that sort of access, who – coincidentally – was on the scene at the time?

“Princess Leia Organa. Check and mate, liberals.

“Wake up, nerf-herders!” he added.

Having proven this point to his own satisfaction, Sy-Mon now plans to upload grainy footage which he says shows New Republic agents directly collaborating with First Order assets including FN-2178 on Jakku.