by 
A man has completely forgotten that today is International Men’s Day, despite being absolutely desperate to celebrate it on International Women’s Day.
Simon Williams, a 38-year-old man with a masculinity so fragile that he keeps it in a biscuit tin, appeared desperate for men to have their own day when he learned that women have their own day every March.
“Women get everything. That’s a fact. When is International Men’s Day?” bleated Williams.
“What? … Oh… really? Today?… Are you sure that’s the case? ….Right…well…
“I mean someone could have told me so that I could make preparations for the big day. You can’t expect me to just know that. You know damn well I only care about men’s rights as an opportunity to shut down conversations about women’s rights. Stop spoiling the thing I enjoy! That’s misandry, right there! On International MEN’S Day, of all days!”
Simon’s wife said, “Yes, I actually exist. It’s a surprise to me, too.
“I had got Simon some beer and a card that says ‘Congratulations on still being ahead in terms of almost absolutely everything’, but he’s spent all day on Facebook telling women that their stories of sexual harassment are ‘probably just cries for attention’, so I’ve not had a chance to give them to him.
“…can you help me get out of here? If you distract him with a photo of Germaine Greer, that should make him angry enough that he won’t notice me sprinting out the door and jumping in the first cab I see.”
