Robert Mugabe insists he is still the best person to provide Zimbabwe with ‘strong and stable leadership’

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The man who has held power in Zimbabwe since 1987 until becoming a victim of a military coup d’etat this week is still insisting that he is the best person to lead the country.

Despite his political power being significantly weakened by currently being under house arrest, Mr Mugabe has hit back at his critics who are celebrating the military coup, saying that this is just a small hiccup and that he definitely knows what is best for the country.

Surrounded by heavily armed members of the Zimbabwe National Army he spoke to reporters saying, “I know that I have always had my critics, but for the last thirty years I have led Zimbabwe in a strong and stable manner. I have been ‘Building a country that works for everyone’, as it were.

“I know that on paper it may seem that I have lost my majority when it comes to the division of power in this land, but I’m hoping to strike up a little deal with the DUP to help me stay in power. They actually share many similar views and values to us, especially when it comes to discriminating against homosexuals, so I can’t see it failing.”

He added, “And anything would be better than a coalition of chaos between the army and whichever of my political opponents did this to me.

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“Now if you’ll excuse me, I should probably end this interview here. The guards keep saying this has been a ‘bloodless coup…so far’ and they all seem a bit angry with me for some reason, so I don’t want to annoy them.”