Your Seasonal Affective Disorder has arrived bang on time yet again, putting to shame those organisations that work to an official timetable.
SAD sufferer Simon Williams said he was hugely impressed with the punctuality of its arrival.
He told us, “There is no promise that it’ll reappear at all, never mind a guarantee or a specific timetable – but just like clockwork, every year it appears precisely two and a half weeks after the clocks go back.
“It’s almost like it knows I’ve been getting up in the dark and going home in the dark for precisely that long.
“Honestly, SAD could definitely teach Souther Rail a thing or two about promptness and reliability.”
A Southern Rail executive said the comparisons to Seasonal Affective Disorder were grossly unfair.
They told us, “Look, this comparison is just plain wrong, one of us is responsible for delivering misery to millions of people each winter, while the other one… oh. Yes, I see.”