Roy Moore victory would ensure three decades of redneck jokes for Alabama, say comedians

author avatar by 6 years ago

The possibility of a gun-toting biblical fundamentalist being elected to the US Senate, despite a string of sexual abuse accusations, has prompted satirists, comedians and social media wits to resurrect old jokes about inbred yokels called Cletus.

Stand-up comic Simon Williams explained that the election could trigger a revival of condescension towards the South.

“The whole mocking the shit-kickers thing was played out after those You Might Be A Redneck books. But if they place their trust in a suspected paedophile who always tried to water down punishment for rapists then it’s open season on the banjo-pluckers.”

LA-based script-writer Amanda Tinnock agreed that Roy Moore gave studios licence to portray Alabamians as six-fingered racists who think wife and sister are interchangeable terms.

She explained, “The crackers had sunk so low they had put themselves out of bounds. It felt mean to mock areas suffering from entrenched inter-generational poverty, a devastating opioid epidemic and post-industrial blight.

“But the second they elect some God-bothering nutjob who’s so creepy the local malls banned him, then they will paint one giant target on their state for those of us who want revenge for Trump.

“By the time we finish with them, you’ll see people fail college applications just for having cousins in Montgomery.”

Roy Moore’s campaign’s only official comment on the issue was a confused biblical reference to Joseph meeting a teenage Mary when he was a Nazarene carpenter and she was a “peach ripe for the plucking who knew exactly what she was doing.”