Man who made woman in Christmas jumper cry pretty pleased with himself

author avatar by 7 years ago

A man has berated a woman for enjoying something at a point at which he deems she shouldn’t.

Simon Williams, 33, actually gets angry at the idea of people thinking about Christmas too soon; a concept which does no actual harm to anybody at all.

“It’s too early!” bellowed/beamed Simon, his boner still going strong after a sustained bout of early-Christmas rage.

“I am the self-righteous guardian of time-sensitive joy and if I see you getting some enjoyment out of life by thinking of Christmas in November then I will make it my business to spoil it for you.

“Susan absolutely deserved to have a new one torn into her for wearing a Rudolph jumper into the office.

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“I’m sure she’s learnt not to cross me again,” confirmed Williams, folding his arms and sitting back in his chair like he’d actually done something of merit.

“He’s a joyless cunt,” confirmed Susan Remmington, wearer of the “offending” jumper.

“I really like Christmas because it’s just nice, that’s all. I was kind of hoping I could just enjoy the idea of something, but I forget this is 2017 where apparently that makes you some kind of bastard.

“I hope he drink-drives home from the office Christmas party and plunges into a lake.”

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