InfoWars launches Halal version of BrainForce Plus

author avatar by 6 years ago

Ultra right-wing moron-baiters InfoWars have today launched a Halal-friendly version of the BrainForce Plus supplements to target the self-loathing Muslim market.

With BrainForce Plus already helping literally dozens of angry right-wingers feel like their brains are on fire, InfoWars have taken the next step towards market domination with the launch of the Halal version of the market-leading dust-capsules.

“We’re fortunate that our incredible scientists and nutritionists discovered that dust is halal,” explained InfoWars chief-screamer, Alex Jones.

“We’ll be embarrassing our UK correspondent Paul into doing a promotional video for this new version any day now.

“You and all our viewers will be able to see him slowly dying behind the eyes as he speaks the words we’re paying him to say, but hey, Muslim money is as good any anybody else’s.”

Non-moron Chuck Williams told us, “Alex Jones is a good advert for their health-supplements in the same way that Harvey Weinstein is a good advert for libido suppressants. He always looks like he’s one breathless rant away from a spectacular aneurysm.

“Still, if you prefer to get your news and current affairs from a website that’s more interested in selling you magic health pills, then by all means, go for it – just know that you’re being played like a fiddle until your wallet is empty.

We asked InfoWars for a comment on their new Halal BrainForce Plus pills, and they told us, “Look, if you’re going to get technical on us, then no, they are not FDA approved.

“But at the end of the day, if it gives our customers brain cancer, at least they’re only Muslims.”