Both a bunch of lonely neckbeards who can’t talk to women, and Warhammer 40k fans are excited by the news that chainsaw bayonets actually exist, reports indicate.
Morbidly obese middle-aged men who should get out more learned about the firearm attachment during the last week, to the chagrin of players of Games Workshop’s popular game who have known about it for years.
Chainsaw bayonets came to prominence both during reports of one of this week’s mass shootings, and in the Rogue Trader book released in 1987.
Simon-Bob Williams, 47, who lives in an elaborately-constructed fantasy world of sudden violence and heroic bravery, told us he was amazed he hadn’t heard of the Warhammer game before but he was too busy sitting at home waiting for Obama to try and steal his guns.
“Yeah, I’m a collector and hobbyist,” he said. “It’s a perfectly normal hobby. All my friends do it. We get together at weekends and fight out huge battles in our minds against the forces of darkness when Hillary wins and they try to make homosexuality compulsory.
“We go to the shop and look at all the new models and discuss which the best one to buy to complete the best army would be, and maybe buy one but they’re really expensive.
“Hoo-boy chainsaw bayonets. Just give me five minutes, wouldya?”
When asked, a spokesman for Games Workshop said that they were pleased their idea for a weapon had caught on, but they wished survivalists would live in the real world like their fans.