Donald Trump left terrified after receiving ‘You will be impeached’ fortune cookie on last day in China

author avatar by 6 years ago

President Trump has been left shaken after receiving a fortune cookie from the Chinese government promising him anything but good fortune.

As his visit to China drew to a close Donald Trump attended a final meal with leader Xi Jinping, and as is customary in the region, at the conclusion of the meal he was given a random fortune cookie which upon opening simply read ‘You will be impeached’.

An anonymous member of his secret service detail, who wished only to be called ‘Simon’, told us with a smirk, “You should have seen his face when he read it. He went pale. Well, a slightly paler shade of his usual orange, anyway.

“He looked at us like one of us had done it for a practical joke, but honestly we hadn’t. Then he snatched up another one which just had ‘SAD!’ typed on it. Then he just sat there trembling.”

Laughing, he added, “I think maybe there is something mystical and foreboding in all this, or the Chinese have a great sense of humour.

“Either way, I doubt he will be coming back to China anytime soon, and he’s vowed not to eat any more Chinese takeaways.

“With that and the ban on Mexican food in the White House he will be running out of food choices soon.”