Patriotic watering hole chain Wetherspoon’s have today offered a free pint to anyone proud enough of their country to wear a poppy bigger than a human head.
The move comes hot on the heels of the release of their patriotic Brexit beer mats, which acclaim the entire range of benefits to the UK from leaving the EU, fitting them all neatly on just one side.
A spokesperson for the chain told us, “There is no nation on this entire planet greater than Britain, and as such, we welcome all proud patriots with open arms and full pint glasses.
“Everyone who drinks here knows that Brexit is the best thing possible for the country, but unfortunately the biased liberal left media will have you believe that ‘patriotism’ is a bad word – well not here at Wetherspoons it isn’t.
“Here we absolutely love a bit of patriotism, the bigger the show of your love for the country, the better – and what better way to celebrate your love for this great nation of ours than with a massive poppy and a free pint.
“And if it’s bigger than your entire torso we’ll throw in a free burger.”
Wetherspoons regular Simon Williams told us he had enjoyed his free pint at lunchtime today.
“I was a bit suspicious; I always am when someone says something is ‘free’. But in I went with my homemade poppy the size of a small television, and they gave me my free pint, just like they said they would.
“There were lots of other fellow patriots in there too, which was nice. There really is nothing better than getting shitfaced in the afternoon surrounded by likeminded ultranationalists.”