Search party ‘giving up hope’ of finding Peter Hitchens’ sense of humour

author avatar by 7 years ago

After criticising Armando Iannucci and David Schneider’s new movie, The Death of Stalin, for making jokes about the death of, well, Stalin, experts looking for Peter Hitchens’ sense of humour have admitted it might never be found.

Concerns were first raised that the sense of humour might be missing after Hitchens published a piece in his Daily Mail column criticising the use of Stalin’s death as a comedic vehicle, a vehicle currently earning rave reviews from critics and fans alike.

A member of the search party told us, “These things normally start with the question ‘when did you last see the sense of humour’, but no-one has been able to give us an accurate time frame so we could retrace its steps.

“There was one alleged sighting back in the nineties, but when pressed on the details the witness admitted it was almost certainly his brother Christopher’s sense of humour that was seen at that time.

“This makes our job extremely difficult because although we’re professionals, and will happily search until exhaustion, it’s quite possible we’re looking for something that doesn’t exist. We’re literally on the hunt for fairies in the garden.”

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With no confirmed sightings in the last 24 hours and a search area that extends across the entire Internet, some former search and rescue professionals claim that continuing the search further is an exercise in futility.

One such retiree, Simon Williams, told us, “No-one likes to admit defeat in the search for a sense of humour, but I think we can all take comfort in the fact that in this case it almost certainly never existed in the first place.”