Man pretty sure he deserves more credit for not sexually assaulting any women

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A man has told of his disappointment at receiving little credit for not sexually assaulting any women during his life.

Simon Williams, an IT support worker from Cheltenham, took to Facebook in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein scandal to post – ‘I support the brave women standing against Weinstein, and can proudly say I have NEVER sexually assaulted a woman in my life.’

“I got 4 likes,” said Mr Williams, shaking his head sadly.

“I’ll be honest, in the current climate, I expected a little more credit. I mean, it’s almost like women aren’t grateful for a simple man who doesn’t resort to sexual assault in any form.

“And whoever it was who posted the ‘shocked’ emoji can piss off for a start.”

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Mr Williams went on to explain his approach when he meets a woman.

“Well, I meet a lot of sexy ladies, but I always just think ‘no, they probably don’t want me touching them, even if it’s just being friendly.’ So I don’t.

“I think that if Weinstein and his ilk took a leaf out of my book then maybe the world would be a little bit better for women. Both sexy, and otherwise.”

Mr Williams also made it clear that he had no plans to sexually assault women in the future.

“No. Absolutely not. Never. But I don’t suppose I’ll get any gratitude for that either.

“It’s just disappointing, frankly.”