Ford will pay the first speeding fine on every new Focus ST sold this year as a special introductory offer.
The new model comes with a number of offers aimed at their core customers, including an electronic tag, a Pornhub subscription, and extra points on your license if you agree to their credit terms.
“It’s easy,” a Ford spokesman told us. “Just come into the showroom, pick your model and we’ll endorse your license then and there.
“Then you can just drive it away, straight into the nearest ditch.
“We’ll even throw in a neck brace for you and one passenger.”
The car has undergone several design changes to cater for their customer’s needs, including a revolutionary ventilation system that vents vaping and weed smoke through the exhaust.
Ford has also confirmed that ‘STI’ isn’t a marque but a warning of what you’ll catch if you go out with one of their drivers.
“It’s pretty easy to spot if someone has got the clap,” they told us.
“Just look for visible sores and a discharge, or a key with a blue oval on it.”