The fake Melania Trump – hired by Melania Trump to fill in for her by standing silently alongside Donald Trump – has herself hired a body-double, it has emerged.
Following rumours that Melania Trump has employed a lookalike to take her place at public appearances rather than have to stand next to Donald herself, it is understood that the fake Melania has now sub-contracted the job because she is already sick of him.
“Melania’s paying me a fortune so she doesn’t have to stand next to him,” the original fake Melania reportedly said.
“So I have been able to afford to hire someone else to replace me and still live very comfortably myself.
“Admittedly the person I hired is a bit rough around the edges, but with big enough sunglasses and the right makeup, I’m sure nobody will notice – certainly not Donald Trump.
“He never once made eye contact with me or struck up a conversation and yet I am still physically repulsed to be around him.
“Luckily I found someone desperate enough to sub-contract the job to at a much lower rate while I live a luxurious lifestyle – it’s the American dream and I actually think Donald would be very proud.”
Simon Williams, the man accused of being the second fake Melania Trump has denied the rumours.
“I absolutely refute these accusations,” he said.
“It is true that I incurred enormous medical bills following a freak accident with my vacuum cleaner that occurred when I was getting dressed and I now face complete financial ruin.
“But this does not necessarily mean that I am desperate enough to put on a stunning wig and radiant makeup and then go on to demean myself by pretending to be the Donald Trump’s wife.
“The smell of urine is entirely coincidental.”