A red sun hangs in the sky this afternoon, signalling the destruction of all mankind, according to the Daily Express.
The celestial ball of fire is showing off a reddish hue today, which most scientists put down to dust being kicked up by whichever storm is tearing up Ireland today.
“They’re lying to you and your death is right around the corner,” said Daily Express Science Correspondent, Simon Williams.
“We’ve checked the Elder Scrolls, and they clearly state that a red sun in the sky foreshadows an age of blood and dismay.
“The fact this coincides with Brexit is just a coincidence, obviously. Stop talking down the country.
“Anyway, we’re all very sad to learn we’re going to die, but we’re delighted that we’ll finally be with Princess Diana very soon. I can’t wait to see how pleased she’s been with all of the post-mortem coverage we’ve given her.”
An actual scientist, Elizabeth King, said, “Yeah, no.
“As with all Daily Express stories, this should be taken with a pinch of salt. And when I say ‘a pinch of salt’ I mean ‘massive, guffawing laughter’.”