Government demands weather forecasters should make their storm warnings more patriotic and optimistic

author avatar by 6 years ago

The British government have told meteorologists to simply think more positively and optimistically when issuing forecasts ahead of an impending storm.

A number of outlets including the Met Office and their Irish counterpart Met Eireann have issued storm warnings ahead of ex-hurricane Ophelia, prompting a swift backlash from leading Tory MPs who by sheer coincidence just happen to be Brexiters.

Conservative MP John Redwood issued a statement this morning saying, “When I read the weather forecast every day I want to see an optimistic one.

“When an ex-hurricane is due to hit parts of the country, as it is due to later today, I don’t want to read about ‘dangerously high winds this’ and ‘torrential rain that’ – I want us all to be a bit more positive about the whole thing. That is the only way to make the storm not happen.”

Fellow Tory and former leadership contender Andrea Leadsom MP explained the approach meteorologists should be taking, telling reporters this morning, “The key to a good weather forecast, no matter how bad the computer models may indicate it to be, is to be patriotic.

“As you look the remnants of the hurricane dead in the face, stand strong and think of Queen and country. The winds and waves will die down quicker than you can hum all six verses of ‘Rule Britannia’.

“Obviously this won’t work for those living in Ireland, but we don’t care about them anyway.”