Boris Johnson running out of ideas for how to get himself sacked

author avatar by 7 years ago

Boris Johnson is increasingly desperate to get sacked so he can launch his leadership bid, according to reports today.

“Boris is in a tricky position,” we were told by Conservative insiders.

“He needs to get out of being foreign secretary before Brexit goes to shit as he doesn’t want to have to carry the can for it.

“But if he resigns he’ll be seen as a quitter and it’ll screw his chances.

“So his only option is to act like a proper twat and hope it gets him fired.”

Johnson is reported to be ‘furious’ that Theresa May refuses to sack him for his wilful ineptitude, but the Prime Minister is determined to see him go down with the ship along with her.

“It’s a bally outrage”, he is understood to have told supporters. “What the bally cripes do I have to do to get her to fire me so I can attack her from the safety of the back benches?

“If she keeps forcing me to take responsibility for the consequences of my own actions I’ll never be Prime Minister, and where’s the justice in that?

“I’m off to crap on her desk. Maybe that’ll do it.”