A cunning Brexiter has taken a leaf right out of Theresa May’s book.
In the same way that Theresa May will offer to pay the £350 million-a-week club a whopping £20 billion in order to “leave”, Simon Williams has offered to pay his £49-a-month gym a comparatively modest £588 in order to not use it.
“Bargain,” beamed Williams.
“I really wanted to leave the gym but they kept banging on about having six months left of my contract and that me leaving would mean I had fewer benefits with them than if I stayed, which seems well out of order.
“They won’t even let me use the swimming pool unless I pay some money. It’s like the EU and the single market all over again.
“So we’ve agreed that I can go if I give them the thick end of six hundred quid. That’ll show ’em, just like Theresa May is sticking it to the faceless eurocrats at the EU.”
Gym manager, Jay Cooper, said “Mr Williams is indeed a mastermind, and we welcome this new deal.
“Of course, he could have stayed with us for another year for that amount of money and enjoyed all of the benefits of membership, such as our sauna, fully equipped gym, dance classes, free movement across Europe and cheaper mobile phone tariffs.
“…sorry, I’m not sure why I said those last two.”