UN officials nostalgic for the sharp intellect and witty prose of George W Bush

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Permanent staff and veteran diplomats at the United Nations have congregated in the canteen to tell bittersweet stories about the speeches of the last Republican president, with many admitting they regretted the harsh words they put into official missives at the time.

Cesaire Ouedrago, a long-serving civil servant in the UN’s permanent administration, said that, in retrospect, George W Bush was a lot of fun to work with.

“He wasn’t a bad sort really, just out of his depth. He had a sense of humour and could laugh at himself. And there was none of this nonsense about not letting female colleagues alone in a room with him.

“I feel bad about forwarding those pictures of him with the upside-down children’s book. This president? Well for a start, he can stop calling me Tyrone….”

Interpreter Simon Williams also believed that George W Bush was easier to work with.

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“Linguistically, the whole Axis of Evil thing wasn’t too bad. When we interpret, we need to convey the tone as well as the meaning. Bush had something of a southern lay preacher about him which was interesting.

“But Trump is an inconsistent nightmare. Parts of it sound like chest-thumping speech in a Michael Bay movie, and the rest is closer to the angry screams of an eleven-year-old whose avatar just got killed on World of Warcraft.”

The impromptu gathering broke up when the Swiss ambassador mentioned Barack Obama and everybody suddenly felt the need to be alone or call their families. Some cried.

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