North Korea changes national anthem to Elton John’s ‘Rocket Man’

author avatar by 7 years ago

North Korea has a new national anthem, and it’s a catchy one, it has emerged today.

Second craziest world leader Kim Jong-un announced the change via state-operated news organisation DPRK News this morning.

He proclaimed, “Citizens of this glorious country, our national anthem will today be changed to a good little tune I stumbled across, quite by chance and in no way related to a recent speech at the UN, called ‘Rocket Man’.

“I have heard some rumours that the people of our glorious land are spreading lies and falsehoods about me. And I feel some of you may have got the wrong impression of me from the mass starvation, suppression of the media and the authoritarian rule and that sort of thing.

“Hopefully this will help you understand me better. It’s part of my job, you see, to pour money into our missile programme.

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“I’m worried that it’s gonna be a long, long time, but I hope that one day you’ll find I’m not the man you think I am at home.”

He clarified “Oh, no no no, I AM a rocket man – but I’m actually quite a nice guy, too.

“So I hope this anthem will draw us all together as we face the ongoing threats from the unhinged maniac in the White House.”

US President Donald Trump has yet to respond to the news, as he is reportedly very busy looking at the footage of his UN speech and counting the number of people present so he can quadruple it before boasting of his ‘crowd size’ on Twitter later today.