Formula One driver Lewis Hamilton has told his Mercedes team he will only continue to drive for them if they develop an engine that runs on vegetables, after turning vegan in order to save the planet.
Hamilton issued the ultimatum just hours after his victory in Singapore put him 28 points clear at the top of the Formula One championship.
“It’s time to do something to save the planet, and that something is for me to go vegan,” explained the enthusiastic new vegan who just couldn’t wait to tell you about it.
“Of course, some people will say it’s my private jet flights and gas-guzzling cars that are destroying the planet, and that might be doing some harm, but really, it’s that steak you had last night that is killing us all.
“Cutting out meat is the one thing we can all do to help the environment, though I will now be trying to do more, as is my duty as a vegan.
“I look at my victory in Singapore, in a car that does less than four miles to the gallon, and I can’t help but feel I should be promoting my veganism more publicly so that others can join my quest to prevent Earth succumbing to pollution and global warming.”
Experts have said that an engine that runs purely on broccoli could have a significant detrimental effect on performance, and therefore Hamilton’s chances of winning this year’s Formula One championship.
As one former Formula One engineer explained, “I’d even go so far as to say a Mercedes engine powered by broccoli might even be slower than a Honda.”