House spider just wants a cuddle

author avatar by 7 years ago

It’s cold out there, and house spiders just want to come in for a cuddle to warm them up.

All the friendly, scuttling arachnids need is a few minutes snuggled up by your side to warm them up again and they’ll be on their way no harm done.

“Look, have you seen the weather out there?”, asked Spidon Williams. “It’s brass monkeys.

“I work really hard liquefying the innards of other creatures and sucking them out, and all I ask is a bit of care and affection. Is that too much?

“When I crawl under your covers to join you, after the lights are out and you’re asleep, just think of me as being like a little kitten.

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“A tiny, scuttling kitten, with eight legs, loads of blank, black, deathly eyes and weaving venomous palps.

“There now. Isn’t that better? I’ll see you tonight.”