Fears grow as Hurricane Irma heads towards white people

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After Hurricane Irma, one of the most powerful Atlantic storms in a century, made landfall in the Caribbean, concerns are growing that it could go on to affect places where white people live.

The hurricane has torn across areas inhabited by brown people, and experts have urged the media to be alert to the probability of it hitting places considered to be more newsworthy.

“It looks increasingly likely that the affects of Hurricane Irma will go on to impact areas inhabited by white people,” explained one expert in this sort of thing.

“If it hits Florida we could see its rating increased to ‘full-scale natural disaster’ from its current rating of ‘one-off charity record’.”

The UK government has responded to accusations that its response to Hurricane Irma in British overseas territories has been “disgraceful” and “pathetic”.

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International Development Secretary Priti Patel said: “We have already deployed Gary Barlow and Friends to record a reworking of I Believe I can Fly.

“What is needed now is a firm commitment from the British public to go out and buy it.

“It’s the very least we can do.”