David Davis has cheerfully defended the latest round of difficult negotiations with the EU by telling parliament that he had never said it would be easy, honest.
The pompous Brexit Secretary addressed Parliament yesterday, describing to the gathered MPs how Britain and the EU have very different stances on the Brexit bill and stressing that “nobody ever pretended this would be simple or easy”.
The statement came after a spate of tense and terse talks with EU negotiators over the Brexit bill and ‘divorce’ settlement, something which curiously hadn’t been mentioned much in the run up to the referendum last year.
Political commentator Simon Williams told us, “I remember last year that David Davis and his colleague Liam Fox both assured us that striking a Brexit deal with the EU would be ‘one of the easiest deals’ in human history, and that creating free trade deals outside of Europe would be a piece of cake.
“David Davis is a very confident and jovial chap, so against my better judgement, I took him at his word. And now look where we are – Japan won’t do a deal with us because in a shock development it seems they’d rather deal with a large group of countries than one country; and the EU have us by the balls over payment of this monumental Brexit divorce bill.”
He added, “Still, at least we’ll be getting that £350 million per week for the NHS.
“If it wasn’t for that, I’d be really starting to doubt whether Brexit was a good idea at all.”
Brexit means Clusterf*ck – get your t-shirt here