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Super Mario has been sacked by his employers after failing to show up to a plumbing job because he was jumping on tortoises yet again.
The popular handyman had been employed as a pipefitter by a local plumber, but was given his marching orders after showing up to an important job eight hours late dressed as a racoon.
“It’s not like we didn’t give him chance after chance,” said company owner Simon Williams. “He’d always be booking time off for rescuing princesses or because his pet dinosaur was ill after eating too much fruit.
“I’m a decent employer so I try to be supportive, but after you’ve been fitting a soil pipe all day and at half three he rocks up and shouts ‘It’s-a me, Mario!’ because he’s been collecting coins on a cloud all day, then something had to give.
“Defeating some dragon-man in a castle is one thing, but dealing with the aftereffects of someone with a two-inch arsehole meeting a one-inch pipe was his bloody job.”
