India urged to start giving monsoons friendly Western names in hope the world might start noticing them

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As monsoon rains in India, Bangladesh and Nepal leave 1,200 dead and 40 million affected, the Indian Government have announced that it’s time to start naming weather systems to gain coverage by Western news agencies.

“We’re not getting anywhere near as much attention when you compare what’s happening here to Hurricane Harvey in the US, and that’s despite a much higher death-toll,” an Indian Government spokesman told us.

“The Government thinks that by naming monsoons in the future, Western news agencies will be able to come up with snappier headlines, and therefore give us the coverage we deserve.”

Next year will mark the start of the programme, with Monsoon Adam expected to cause similar devastation. The programme will follow the US style of pre-prepared, alphabetical lists of names.

Indian officials are busy creating the first list with a focus on names that westerners will not be able to dismiss as ‘foreign’.

But James Pierce, 32, from London, was unconvinced by the Indian Government’s plan.

“They can name monsoons if they want, I guess,” he told us.

“But isn’t that just what happens in India? They’re used to heavy rain and stuff.

“I would never say I care more about a disaster that happens in the US and affects fairly rich mostly white people, but, y’know, it’s closer to home, right.

“Hang on, how far away is India again?”