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Arsenal owner Stan Kroenke is facing criticism for launching a new television channel designed solely for the enjoyment of sick and twisted individuals who enjoy watching the dreams of Arsenal fans die a horrible death.
The new channel will show coverage of Arsenal board meetings, and internal discussions about transfer targets that never come to fruition, as the hopes and aspirations of Arsenal fans die painfully before your eyes.
Television owner Simon Williams told us, “It’s barbaric. It would be so much more humane to put them out of their misery quickly, just tell them ‘we’re a business and not interested in winning things’ – then it’s all over.
“To keep them hanging on to those dreams of success, believing this could be the year, just for viewers entertainment is absolutely sick.”
Channel producer Chuck Matthews told us, “Some people won’t like it, and they’ll insist it’s cruel – but at the end of the day killing the dreams of Arsenal fans is just nature taking its course, and there is huge demand from people who want to watch it happening in real time.”
Tottenham fan added Duncan Wright added, “He’s right you know. I’ve subscribed, twice.”
