A man who accidentally quite enjoyed a song on the radio has been left traumatised after discovering that it was by Ed Sheeran.
Neil Tollfree is the sort of beardy boring music snob who gives other beardy boring music snobs a bad name.
He was working on, inevitably, some back-end web development and was listening, inevitably, to 6music when they played ‘Bibia Be Ye Ye’ from Sheeran’s most recent album.
“Well, it had a very pleasing early eighties afrobeat feel, so naturally I felt they had unearthed some new William Onyeabor material,” said Tollfree as he supped on a cup of coffee with delusions of grandeur and mentally sneered at the sort of people who don’t listen to albums from start to finish.
“But then the presenter, Tom Ravenscroft, announced that it was Ed Sheeran. The shock hit me immediately and I catastrophically soiled myself before collapsing onto my Macbook.
“My first thought was that perhaps I’d quite enjoyed it ironically, like Kylie’s I Should Be So Lucky, Benny Hill’s Ernie, The Fastest Milkman In The West, or the last Radiohead album.
“But according to the internet no Ed Sheeran song has been officially certified as ironised yet, so I guess I’ll have to come to terms with the fact that I genuinely quite like an Ed Sheeran song.”
Mr Tollfree has been unable to do any work, such as it is, since the event, and is considering writing a blog documenting his experience that, for reasons best known to himself, he thinks people will read.