There was shock and anger in the Labour party yesterday as it was revealed that Jeremy Corbyn hasn’t been nominated for the Mercury Music Prize for best album.
It is the third year in a row that the Labour leader, despite not actually releasing an album, has been snubbed by the Mercury nomination committee.
“Well, it seems clear to me that the Mercury Prize is in collusion with the mainstream media in a conspiracy against Jeremy Corbyn,” said Simon Williams, the sort of whiney little Labour child who bleats endlessly on Internet forums about how everyone is being mean to Jeremy Corbyn
“Jeremy has transformed Labour and it is now the biggest political party ever in the whole world, or something. So I think it’s high time the mainstream media started treating him with the respect he’s due and put him on the Mercury Music Prize shortlist.
“And let him be Prime Minister, and King, and Pope, and President of the World.”
Mr Corbyn himself has yet to make a comment on the matter, but bookies have already installed him as the favourite to win the Mercury Prize next year for a suspected album of skiffle and early rock and roll covers.
Mr Williams, however, is fully prepared to continue the battle in the only way he knows how.
“All I can say is that he’d better be considered for an Oscar next year, or I’ve got some pretty devastating memes I can post in comments sections all over the Internet.”