England supporters advised to only watch the female squads for best results

author avatar by 5 years ago

England fans have been told it is in their best interest to support only the female teams during high profile tournaments, after a couple of phenomenal results that the male squads can only dream of.

A great day of English sport yesterday saw the England women’s football squad triumph in their Euro 2017 Group D clash with Spain and the England women’s cricket team win the ICC women’s World Cup, leading experts to advise that when it comes to England competing in sport on a global level, it would probably be best for everyone to just support the female squads.

Dr Eleanor Gay, a GP from Little Arseworth in Berkshire explained “We’ve been saying for a while now that it is not healthy to support the England male squads in these sports.

“The build-up and inevitable defeats routinely lead to stress, raised blood pressure and depression – all things that can be avoided by supporting the female squads instead.”

England supporter Simon Williams told us, “Fair play to those lasses – they have achieved the lads can only dream of by beating Spain 2-0 in a major competition, so we were right impressed.

“I had no idea women played football – it’s never on TV, is it – and only ended up discovering this yesterday when I was channel hopping after my internet went down.

“What a great game. It seems a lot of their success was down to successfully being able to get the ball in the back of the net. I hope the lad’s team takes some notes for Russia 2018.”

In a pub in central London, eight-year-old Simone Williams rolled her eyes when she observed her father’s delight at the football result, saying “See, Dad, I keep telling you. Girls ARE better than boys!”