The morning-after delayed contraceptive pill is more expensive than keeping your legs together you filthy scrubber, it has emerged.
Boots, a high-street sort-of-pharmacy that sells pills as well as dishing out moral advice, insists there are much cheaper alternatives available for girls like you.
Boots said it had no plans to cut the price of its leading Levonelle brand, which is designed to be taken the morning after you’ve had some man or other around.
Boots spokesman, Simon Williams, said, “We are guided by market forces and any attempt to reduce the price would merely incentivise harlotry.
“By making these drugs affordable, there is a very real danger that we encourage young ladies to play into the hands of Satan.
“Women on a budget are advised to get to know a man first before letting him go all the way on a first date.”
Boots says it was alarmed by reports that the morning-after pill is being used for recreational purposes, such as hangover cures or to take the edge off an ecstasy come-down.
Williams added, “On a first date you shouldn’t be going any further than tops and fingers.”