Pest controllers contracted to remove parasites from the Houses of Parliament say they have Michael Gove cornered in a back office.
The exterminators were hired this week after workers in the building reporting an infestation of parasites destroying anything they touch.
Pest controller Simon Williams is leading the on-site effort and told us, “I’ll be honest, it’s pretty bad here.
“Sometimes there is a symbiotic relationship with these parasites, where they perform some sort of beneficial function for the host – but that’s simply not the case here.
“They’re doing nothing but harm, and obviously the people working here want rid of them.
“Some of them are huge, and right now we’ve got one cornered in a meeting room on the second floor – he’s at least the size of a former Education minister, seriously.
“He scurried in there when confronted by someone in the team and asked to prove he wasn’t doing irreparable harm to Parliament.”
Williams went on to say there was nothing to worry about as he instructed his team to enter the room armed with nothing but a net and several claw hammers.