Planning your funeral now more realistic priority than planning your retirement

After the government announced Britons born between 1970 and 1978 won’t be able to claim the state pension until they are 68, workers under 48 have begun making enquiries about workplace funeral schemes.

David Gauke, the work and pensions secretary, announced that working until you die is crucial to balancing the books.

“People not living is imperative when it comes to living within our means,” he said.

“We have to make difficult decisions, and this government will do all it can to guarantee those decisions will make things very difficult for you.”

Mr Gauke went on to explain that the move was necessary in order to unburden the younger generation.

“Ensuring the younger generation leave university in crippling debt, are unable to afford a mortgage and work until they die is the only way to secure their future.

“Have I mentioned the magic money tree yet?”