Ed Sheeran and Game of Thrones fans have expressed their disappointment with the star’s cameo appearance last night after he failed to expose his genitals as is traditional in the programme.
“Waste of time, if I’m honest,” said Game of Thrones fan and fervent masturbator Simon Williams.
“When I heard Ed Sheeran was going to be on Game of Thrones, I went ‘brilliant, I’m going to see Ed Sheeran’s cock, I’m going to see if he’s got ginger pubes and weird balls’.
I mean, you always assume Ed Sheeran’s going to have weird balls, don’t you? I was really looking forward to finding out for sure.
“But then nothing, he didn’t get his cock out or anything. He just did a bit of a rubbish song. If I wanted to hear a rubbish Ed Sheeran song I could just turn on local radio at any time of the day.”
Mr Williams was unconvinced that the cameo added anything to the plot.
“There’s a plot? I just watch it for the boobs and willies. I’d watch Newsnight if they had boobs and willies. Actually, I might suggest that to Samira Ahmed’s Newswatch.”
There was some comfort for Mr Williams’ with news of another guest star in this series.
“Yeah, Jim Broadbent’s in this series. I bet he gets his cock out.”