Female Doctor Who won’t work as all previous incarnations were muscular lumberjacks

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A female Doctor Who will obviously fail as the Doctor’s masculinity was always vital to the character.

The Doctor, played by famous action heroes such as Tom Baker, David Tennant and Sylvester McCoy, is renowned for his ability to hunt deer, cut down trees and win bare-knuckle bar fights.

“And now there’s a chick so that it won’t work,” confirmed Doctor Who fan, Simon Williams.

“Hypermasculinity is every bit as important to Doctor Who as it is to James Bond, John McClane or any character played by Steven Segal.

“The Doctor’s famous workout/boxing montages simply won’t work the way they used to anymore, nor will any sequences where he dives through the air, firing two AK-47s at once, which were prevalent throughout the series.

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“I intend to stop watching until this bint is replaced with Jason Statham instead.”

Show-runner, Jay Cooper, said, “I think Mr Williams is confusing our show with The Raid.

“We’ve never really established that the doctor needs a dick and a sense of machismo, because he doesn’t. He, or indeed she, needs a tardis and a sonic screwdriver and some bonkers plotlines.”