Tony Blair has trundled forth once more to tell the galaxy he knows best and his solution is the only one.
The pepperpot psychopath is famous for repeatedly returning from apparent death and threatening to try and seize power, before being roundly defeated yet again in forty-five minutes.
Insiders revealed today Blair’s latest goal is to travel back in time to when people listened to him or thought what he said was a good idea.
Blair, who is motivated by a desire to perpetuate a ruling elite in a galaxy which has moved on without him, is one of British television’s most popular and enduring villains and his regular defeats make for ‘must-see’ viewing.
Audiences are already hotly anticipating who it will be that will get to defeat him next time, and cast him back into the empty reaches of after-dinner speaking.
“The Labour leadership is just like Doctor Who regenerating,” we were told.
“You hope for maybe a something maybe a bit different, but you just get an old white bloke from the past same as usual.
“At least when the Conservatives regenerate you get something of a change – for example, the most recent incarnation as Theresa Missy.”