Ducks to sue Apple over ‘defamatory’ autocorrect function

author avatar by 7 years ago

Ducks have launched a class-action suit against the Apple iPhone, claiming consistent and long-standing defamation by their autocorrect function.

In a statement written on an iPhone, Apple is described as ‘a bunch of ducks’ for consistently changing swear words to something ostensibly more innocuous.

“Nobody. Not nobody, ever, has once deliberately typed ‘Bad Mother Ducker’,” said Duck legal affairs spokesman Simon Williams, QC.

“My clients maintain that by consistently correcting text such as ‘I’m going to give you a ducking kicking, you duck’, Apple is bringing my delightful, quacking clients into disrepute.

“It’s ducking well outrageous.

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“Oh, for ducks sake, now you’ve got me doing it.

“This is all going on my bill you know.

“Right, you can stop laughing now.”

Responding to the claim, Apple confirmed that whilst it would be possible to get their autocorrect function to accept curses, the fact is Steve Jobs just hated ducking ducks.