Theresa May’s plea for policy ideas on tackling ‘unfairness’ results in calls to resign, sod off and don’t come back

author avatar by 7 years ago

Prime Minister Theresa May’s plea for other parties to work with her on building a “fairer Britain” has resulted in several policy ideas that all revolve around her immediate resignation.

Mrs May said that she was keen for opposition parties to contribute ideas for a fairer society, and the opposition parties’ have been quick to respond by offering a three-point plan for the prime minister consisting of:

1. Stop being prime minister
2. Go far away
3. Stay there

“We’re confident that this proposal will be popular with voters,” said a Labour spokesperson.

“We’ve looked at the findings of several focus groups and, as well as tackling unfairness, Mrs May’s resignation would also give her approval ratings a massive boost – it seems people hate you less when you’re no longer directly responsible for everything being shit.

NewsThump Best sellers

“We’re always prepared to work with other parties if it’s in the national interest, and if us calling on her to resign is what’s needed, then rest assured we will continue to do so until she finally listens.”