Donald Trump in denial about Prosecco Warming

author avatar by 6 years ago

Donald Trump has played down the role of warm Prosecco in gossipy news stories, according to reports.

The US President has ignored evidence from ninety-seven percent of scientists who claim there is a direct link between warming of the cheap substitute for champagne and talking out of your arse.

And boffins have warned that Prosecco has warmed significantly since the 1970s as a direct result of Climate Change.

Scientists now believe that the planet could be engulfed in a tidal wave of verbal horseshit if the average warming of a glass of Prosecco exceeds two degrees.

Cold refreshing drinks’ expert, Simon Williams, said, “As the world’s ice melts, there is less available for the sort of people who attend dinner parties where Prosecco is served.

“Our computer models show that we can expect warmer, wetter Proseccos and that a cold glass could soon become a thing of the past.”

He added, “Some of my kids have never seen a cold glass of Prosecco, let alone tasted one.”

Meanwhile, Prosecco-warming sceptics leapt to the President’s defence, telling reporters, “Donald Trump talks out of his arse all the time and I’ve never seen him with a glass.”