UK can have ‘very quick trade deal’ promises man who said he’d have plan to beat ISIS in 90 days

author avatar by 6 years ago

Donald Trump has promised the UK a quick trade deal after Brexit, and we should all definitely believe him when he says that.

The US President told reporters that Brexit would see a very quick deal with the UK, breaking the habit of a lifetime by telling an audience precisely what it wanted to hear in order to make them like him.

“Super quick, really quick. The quickest. It’ll be the quickest you’ve ever seen,” Trump continued when pressed for details of the trade deal by reporters.

“Will it be quicker than the 90-day plan to beat ISIS that you promised last year?” asked one reporter.

“Fake news!” retorted Trump.

“Will it be before or after you build the wall that you promised to build but haven’t even started yet?” asked another reporter.

“Fake news!” retorted Trump.

“Is the UK trade deal as important as leaving obsolete NATO like you promised to do during the election?” asked another before being shuffled out of the room.

“Is this room full of fake news, or what?” joked the President in response, “Look, you all know me, I keep my promises, and when I say the UK will get a really quick trade deal, you can take that to the bank.”

Leading Brexiters have welcomed Trump’s statement, insisting they knew he was a good guy all along.