Manchester United have completed the signing of Romelu Lukaku from Premier League rivals Everton for a fee equivalent to five Romelu Lukakus.
After turning down an initial bid, Everton accepted the deal when the Old Trafford club increased their offer by a further Romelu Lukaku.
A Goodison Park source revealed, “Every player has their price, and in Lukaku’s case it’s about five times what he’s actually worth.
“We knew that we’d get the price we wanted after Man United set the precedent by buying Paul Pogba for the price ten Paul Pogbas.”
United fans have expressed their delight at the signing and insisted that it shows the sort of ambition needed to challenge for the title.
“Paying massively overinflated prices for players is a real statement of intent,” said season ticket holder Simon Williams.
“Now we just need to go out and get a match winner who can change a game in an instant – we’ve never really replaced Howard Webb.”