America now British again after Trump accidentally repeals 1776 Declaration of Independence

author avatar by 7 years ago

The United States of America has today returned to British rule after an over-zealous President Trump accidentally repealed the Declaration of Independence, coincidentally on Independence Day.

The Toddler-in-chief, evidently drunk with power following the implementation of his beloved travel ban and making strong progress towards repealing Obamacare, has unintentionally repealed one of the most significant documents ever signed by an American.

Announcing the news to reporters President Trump said, “Look people, we all make mistakes. Apart from me. The Donald doesn’t make mistakes. This was a deliberate choice, even if it was slightly accidental, to shake things up a bit.”

He continued, “This will be a terrific change. Just terrific. Britain is in the process of taking their country back, so it seems quite fitting for them to have this country back too. Make America Great Britain Again.”

Pointing a tiny finger at the cameras for emphasis he went on “Let me tell you, this will be tremendous. With my good time gal Theresa running Britain with strength and stability, I think she’ll be happy for me to run America on her behalf, so you’ll still have me at the helm, making America great again.

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“This will be so good, the best, I guarantee it. Guarantee it.”

It is understood that US lawmakers are frantically attempting to reinstate the Declaration of Independence without Trump noticing by distracting him with a dartboard in the shape of the CNN logo and repeatedly telling him that Barack Obama thought it was ‘for losers’.

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