Tory backbenchers impatiently waiting for voters to apologise

author avatar by 6 years ago

After Theresa May apologised to the 1922 Committee for the outcome of the general election, the parliamentary group of Conservative backbenchers have now turned their attention to ungrateful voters.

With last week’s general election result plunging the government into chaos, Tory MPs have warned voters that they could be replaced with a new electorate if they show any further signs of dissent.

“The prime minister has shown the good grace to apologise to us for the way in which the public voted,” said a committee spokesperson.

“Now the electorate should do the decent thing and shoulder their fair share of the responsibility.”

Voter Simon Williams, who made a controversial decision to vote with his heart, head and conscience, admitted he felt partly to blame.

“After undertaking a colossal bollock-drop and turning Britain into a laughing stock around the world, it’s only right that Theresa May should apologise to those who will be hardest hit, such as Jacob Rees-Mogg, John Redwood and Peter Bone.

“It was remiss of me not to understand that only the Conservatives can provide the strong and stable leadership that will get us out of the mess they’ve made.

“I think we should all take a leaf out of Theresa May’s book, and pretend none of this ever happened.”